friends. i don't have much of them in perth, not only because of the age gaps between me and the local students, but also the difference in the activities we indulge in. in short, we don't sync well at all. unfortunately for me, there isn't much singaporean students in the units that i take for my course too.

people ask me, 'why don't you join clubs?'; i would, if only if the clubs have like 5 ppl in it. i'm not a fan of big groups, even when i am familiar with everyone in the group. it makes me uncomfortable for some reason (which is why i don't celebrate my bday either). i do feel lonely at times in perth, so i put all the energy into studying instead of mulling over it. but once the exams are over, there's nothing left except the feeling of emptiness.

back in sg, a friend asked, 'so, are you happy you're back in sg?', i thought about it and replied, 'not really.' i've met with some friends ever since i got back and was glad to be able to meet them, but at the same time, i realised that i don't have much to contribute to the conversations. i understand that all my friends are already working and getting on with their lives, but it all feels so out of place, like im just a spectator in the gatherings. this happens even when i am at home; my cousin has taken over my room and is preoccupied with his school work and his new gf; my sis' bf decided to move into our house for some reason and i am kind of delegated to the guest room. so i thought, 'where do i belong?'. i could be at perth, singapore or anywhere else in the world and it probably wouldn't make a difference. i just want to run off and hide in some mountains where i can live out the rest of my life alone. i know it's contradictory, but that's what i would like to do.

*sigh* i think i will need some prozacs if it carries on like this.

should i go and aim for a MD from duke-nus grad medical school? or just grad and continue with masters or phd? i know i'm only in my 2nd year of undergrad studies. but still, it would be good to have some medium term goal. hmm.. decisions decisions.

but frankly, the 2 interviews and on-the-spot essay for application into duke-nus scares me. i'm not too good with words. i do have ideas and stuff that i would want to convey, but it just takes alot of time for me to put them into logical sentences. shit. i might even be autistic :-O.

It's been about a month since my mom's passing. I would like to thank all those who extended their support to me and my family during this period of time. It gets kinda quiet at home without her around and I miss that. Originally, I had wanted to spend these holidays taking care of her and do my part as a son, but unfortunately I wouldn't be able to do that now.

During her wake, I cried. I grieve not because of loss, but of regret. Loss of loved ones are inevitable and nothing can be done to prevent it and so, I do not feel much sadness from it. But actions (or lack thereof) that lead to regrets are preventable. For a long time now, I have constantly reminded myself to 'do anything or nothing, but do not regret the consequences'. I was able to uphold that motto of mine for as long as I can remember and I am proud of it. However, when you do same thing for a long period of time, you get complacent. And so I thought to myself, 'Hey, I'm gonna go back to SG soon so there's no need to see my mom through video conferencing, she's doing fine now anyway.' I was so wrong. I even forgot to wish her a 'Happy Birthday'.

Now I ask myself, if I had not been complacent and done those 2 things before she passed away, would it have made her passing more bearable? 

I'd say yes without hesitation.

'You wouldn't know how pain felt unless you've experienced it', so now I know how bad it felt and I urge whoever is reading this to treat your family and loved ones well cos' you will never know when they are going to leave you. Even if you can't see them eye to eye, it never hurts to treat them with some respect and not make it harder for them. When the day finally comes and if one of you came and told me that you regretted something that you should or should not have done, I would hate to do this but I'll still tell you,

' I told you so.'

i foresee a bunch of tv stations ripping off this idea soon. that's why i love japan. they have the most original (albeit weird) ideas.

prepared? yea, totally. i have a plastic spork with me at all times. why would i need a shotgun or anything?

what can i say? i like to play my life on 'hard' difficulty :-)

so i got really lazy and did not bother to update the blog at all haha. in fact, im even too nua to type in proper english now.

WELL THEN. singapore was unbearably hot when i went back a mth ago. i could just sit and do nothing but still sweat like a pig. probably i just got too used to the cool weather in aust. thank goodness for the occasional rain. yup, so basically i spent much of the time in singapore meeting up with old army buddies and of course the 姐妹们. not forgetting my lousy friends of course. love you guys! haha.

im kinda glad to know that my mom's getting better despite having some uncomfortable problems. bought a few stuff for her which i hope will ease the pain. the road of recovery from cancer isnt easy and seeing her having to put up with all these troublesome stuff made me feel that im studying the right course.

people have asked me what can i do with nanotechnology, and this is what i would say now. imagine a future when curing cancer can be likened to drinking cough syrup (hopefully it tastes as yummy too). drink em for a few weeks, lo and behold! poof goes the cancer! that's an example of a targeted drug delivery system which COULD be made possible by nanotechnology.

as most people know, chemotherapy indiscriminately kills both the healthy and the cancerous cells, which could actually do more harm than good sometimes. but what if the cancerous cells can be specifically identified by nanobots and then systematically destroyed, leaving the healthy cells unharmed? think about it. no. wait. why am i so into this right now? oh right. cos i've got to write a report on nanotechnology on my 2nd day of school! WHAT THE HELLLLLLLLLLL! ok forget it. i'll talk abit more on school another day.

reports aside, the 1 mth break in singapore was fun. but i'll need more partying sessions (*hint* *hint*) to go from fun to AMAZING.  /sigh. such is life when all your friends are working and you aren't huh.

the trip back to aust wasn't as bad i thought it would be. at least i managed to have a pretty long chat with a chick sitting beside me. AND i got a major discount on taxi fare when i managed to hitch a cab with a few of sl's hallmates. however the bad thing is that i had to alight at their hall and drag my barang barang back home.

in the rain.
*pause*
for a total distance of 1km.
*pause*
i so *heart* walking 1km in the rain.
*tears of happiness*

so upon arriving back at the apartment, i almost couldn't recognise it anymore. the plants were overgrown and are practically spilling over the gate. it's like finding the entrance to the secret garden. so exciting rite. opening the gate revealed further surprises. i found a water feature that wasn't there before! upon further inspection, i realised that it's just the steps with a gentle cascading waterfall. T_T

the 2nd floor was flooded as the drainage system got choked with dead leaves. the door mat is pretty amazing in its own right. i noticed that it changes colour from season to season. its green this time round from all the moss growing on it. marvelous.

so i opened the door to my apartment, and...

oh. its 3am now. the plumber's coming in 5 hrs. zzz time! i'll update again soon (i hope).

Alright. I'm not gonna make any excuses and I'll just admit that I am too super lazy to blog for these past 1 month or so.

Hmm.. pookiesbleubass brought my attention to this piece of news where this 25 yr old Japanese male went on a rampage in Akihabara. After plowing through the crowd with his truck, he got off and started stabbing those whom he knocked down with his preferred weapon of mass destruction (a knife). So, now it stands at 7 deaths and 11 others injured. I guess he must have a deep hatred for otakus or something. When questioned after being caught, he said that he was tired of life and sick of everything else. Well if he's so sick of it, why don't he go Kabukicho and attack some yakuza instead of some harmless otaku? Now all he is getting is probably a life behind bars and getting ass-raped by all the other inmates. IMO, that's even worse than being dead. That aside, here's an update on life in general.

School life's been pretty quiet, other than a few guys with some 'unconventional' dress sense. So, there's this tall lanky guy who crossdressed punk style with turquoise eyeshadow and lipstick during Chemistry. Another guy wearing just his brown bathrobes with red socks and shoes for his Maths lessons, and finally a guy who forgot (intentionally?) to wear his pants and went walking around in his boxers for Physics lab. Good times.

Every Friday, I'd walk through one of the school's car park to get to my Chemistry lab and during one of these days, this particular car caught my eye.

I've been too lazy to update my blog last week, so I decided to condense the happenings of these 2 weeks into one. Umm.. so last week was term break and all I ever did was to study, study and study! It's not something to be proud of really, haha. And during this period, my circadian cycle went berserk and now I'm sleeping only after my morning lessons. Woohoo! Going to lessons in a daze is kind of a fresh experience to me.

Yea.. So I am going to do a hard reset on myself by not sleeping for one full day. It's been 28hrs now since I last slept. Feeling really high + woozy and I can't really think straight now haha. For some unknown reason, I completed a 10hr non-stop mugging session earlier on today. Must be the caffeine (again D-:).

Just before I left for the library this afternoon, Siyun showed me this picture she found. I thought it looked hilariously cute. A pig staring sadly onto a plate of tonkatsu (pork cutlet) and the chicken doing likewise to a plate of eggs. We went on to talk about how we (笨蛋三人组) could get these tees from Harajuku and then head down to a restaurant wearing them, order the dishes and then depressingly stare at the food. Fun!

Recently, I've been doodling quite a bit during my MSN conversations. Not to be boastful or anything, but it certainly feels like I've improved! Here's the Dim Sum family that I drew on request by Julia. Presenting Man Tou, Mr. Siew Mai and Ms. Har Gao!

[edit: Video link was removed. Bah!]

I noticed that I have got some blood clotting in left eye for a few days now. Doesn't hurt though. Bad thing is that it looks really unhealthy. The only good thing about this is that now I've gotten closer to looking like Yamapi who also has a blood clot in one of his eyes (can't remember which one though).

I don't suppose I'll be doing something similar to the baby in the video anytime soon. I'm afraid that blood might just squirt out of my eye when I do that.

It's term break! Yay! However I'm not as happy as I should be. A torrent of tests ensues after this week, which means there's more mugging to be done! Woohoo!

Nothing much to blog about, just one interesting news article dug out by pookiesbleubass about a Japanese castle for sale for a mere 41 million Yen (which is approximately SGD 500,000). Needless to say, I'll definitely get it if I had the money. Imagine this when you fill in your address in forms, 'IMPENETRABLE CASTLE HO'. Haha sounds great, no?

And then, there was this online Flash game that I found on Kotaku earlier, titled 'The World's Hardest Game'. You figure that out. It's pretty challenging by my standards. I'm only up to level 10 now, with 24 deaths. Fun!

Attended another of the most sleep-inducing classes of physics lecture today, Nuclear Physics.



The picture? It's an amazingly cute wombat (I WANT!) and it's not related to this post in any way haha.


(Update: I measured the board shorts to be a size 32. I can fit both my hands inside even when I'm wearing it. I guess inches in China are bigger than the rest of the world.)

(More updates: I accidentally popped the button on the shorts after much fiddling. It's my first time wearing this too! T_T Now I need a sewing kit.)

Busy busy week.






Random 'want' of the day. A piglet or a wombat for a pet. Or any small, furry, chubby and slow moving animal haha. (and no zy, I still don't want muru.)

PROSH starts now!

( 4.00 AM )

Updates!

( 11.00 AM )

UWA's biggest charity event of the year is approximately 5 hrs from now. Not sure whether I'll be able to stay up till then. But what the hell, since all my lessons have been canceled tomorrow, I'll probably just take a walk down to school and take a few photographs and soak in the school culture :D

Here's a layout of the day's events as emailed to the students : -

( This is madness! THIS IS PROSH! )

Kinda excited 'bout this, I believe you don't get to do this kind of wacky shit in Singapore. Even if there's such an event, I don't think Singaporeans will be enthusiastic enough to go wild in the CBD haha. Police will swop down on you in an instant and you'd be charged with being a public nuisance and participant in an illegal gathering. At the time of posting, it looks like I'll be going alone. Dang. :-(

Pics to come!

Getting kind of hard to think of subjects starting with 'The', better stop before it crashes my brain. Anyway, something to melt your cold, bitter hearts.

Thanks to Japanator.com

Haven't been posting much this week, there was much work to be done! I regretted having wished for more 'interesting' things to happen this week. I got what I want, but not in the way I wanted though haha.




To conclude this week's events, props to Siyun for having a washing machine break down on her! Smoking household appliances are the best aren't they? And here's wishing Julia's dad a speedy recovery too. Don't touch my booze yo! I know you're reading this.

2 more months to go!

Ever wondered why you are attracted to someone, and why someone is attracted to you? I believe I have found the answer through what I have learnt in class today.


Newton's law of universal gravitation aside, the weather almost got me in trouble yesterday. It's well into autumn now in Perth and temperatures in the morning normally hover about 15-20 degrees (by my estimate). Everybody should know how tempting it feels to stay snug in bed at these temperatures and of course, me being me, I gave in without much resistance to the comforts of my bed, despite 5 alarms from my mobile.

Thanks to the nagging by the little man at the back of my head, I eventually woke up to my biggest shock in a very long time. I WAS BLUDY LATE FOR MY PHYSICS TEST! I woke up 5mins after the paper has started. I literally jumped / flipped / somersaulted / flew out of bed and just ran as fast as my lil' legs can handle to school. This paper carries a 20% weightage for the whole unit this semester, so even if I have to brave through fire and brimstone, I have to absolutely take it. At least I still could finish the paper (except for the last question) on time. Oh well, lesson learnt. Do not sleep if you've studied till 4.30am and your test is at 8am. D:

I wish I have some cheesecake to eat right now. Maybe I should try to get fat in the meantime too.

I would say that this week is quite short, thanks to Easter Monday. Quite a fair bit of events during these 7 days.

I finally did up my blog, promising that I'll improve it with 'new bling bling snazzy graphics by the end of this week'. Which, of course I failed to do so. My water heater blew up the day after the blog came up, probably due to the blog's 10000000000 GIGAWATTS OF OARSOME POWAH!!!11!. Should have expected that to happen haha. In any case, after much flooding and shivering in the cold, the water heater was promptly replaced by a giant of a plumber the following day. I would have gladly kissed his feet if I was there.



Earth Hour came and went by. Nothing much to it really. Daylight savings' over today, so I'm back in Singapore's timezone. Ending of daylight savings meant that I have 25hrs to utilize today. Put it to good use by sleeping haha. Having a sore neck/shoulder as of late. Wish I had someone to massage my shoulders right now instead of me pounding those sore points with my calculator.

Heres hoping for a more interesting week. Cheers!

Earth Hour is on today at 8.00pm, where participating cities all around the world will switch off their lights for an hour to 'deliver a powerful message about the need for action on global warming'. As far as I know, I've been participating in 'Earth Hour' since like forever, but not during 8pm though. Just slightly later from 2am till around 10am.

Perth's participating and you might want to know that most ozzies get high on being environmentally friendly (and not to mention truckloads of beer). So I can expect most of the households here switching off their lights at this time. Probably I could head on down to Matilda Bay and catch a glimpse of the city in the hour of darkness. On second thoughts, maybe not. It's not a very wise idea to go out alone on a weekend night. I have no intention on meeting people getting deliriously high on saving the environment AND alcohol.

Flipping lights off at 8pm tonight isn't really such a big thing to me. I would switch it off if I had the chance. BUT, my house mate isn't such a big fan of darkness. You'll know he's in the house when you see the whole house lighted up like a Christmas tree. He never leaves a light switch off, even when he's not using it. Or even when he sleeps. That kind of pisses me off in a way. I'll always try to stay up later than him so that I can switch off all the lights in the house.

I'm kinda sidetracking there. Well anyways, I'll probably by participating tonight in my own little way by hugging all the trees on the street for an hour. Maybe.

Just came back from a calculus test minutes earlier. Couldn't finish it on time as I have a slow thought process in the morning. I blame the water heater! I couldn't (or rather, wouldn't) get a shower to kick-start my brain because of it.

Putting that aside, I came back home to find out that a certain carpeted area in the living room soaked from yesterday's catastrophe. Felt cold and icky. I hope it dries up soon. I don't think I want to smell the essence accumulated on the carpet over the years.

I should get back to bed.